Corrected version:

In many countries, using mobile phones, tablets, and other devices while walking in public areas is a pressing concern. 

Explanation: 

The subject "using mobile phones, tablets, and other devices" is singular, so the verb "is" should be used instead of "are". 

Improved version:

In numerous countries, the habitual use of mobile phones, tablets, and other devices while traversing public spaces is an escalating concern.

Explanation: 

The sentence is already correct. 

Improved version:

 Gaining insights into the underlying causes of this issue is pivotal to formulating efficacious remedies.

Corrected version:

This essay will investigate the primary cause of concern among many commentators and suggest potential solutions. 

Explanation: 

The correct phrase is "cause of concern" to indicate what the concern is about. Also, "among" should be replaced with "of" to correctly show the relationship between the cause and the commentators. 

Improved version:

This essay will delve into the primary concerns raised by many commentators and proffer potential solutions.

Corrected version:

On the one hand, using mobile phones or electronic devices has become more common in recent years. 

Explanation: 

The subject "using mobile phones or electronic devices" is singular, so the verb "has" should be used instead of "have". 

Improved version:

On one hand, the proliferation of mobile phones and electronic devices has become increasingly commonplace in recent times.

Corrected version:

Using time on technological gadgets has a bad impact on individuals' health.  

Explanation: 

 "Using" is a more appropriate term here. Also, "has" should be used for a singular subject, and the possessive form "individuals'" should be used to indicate the health of individuals. 

Improved version:

 Employing technological gadgets extensively can substantially compromise individuals' well-being.

Corrected version:

This may have detrimental effects on health as well as society. 

Explanation: 

"Effect" should be plural to match "detrimental effects". Also, "society" should be singular to refer to the overall societal impact. 

Improved version:

 Such practices can have detrimental ramifications on both health and society at large.

Corrected version:

How do mobile phones affect society? 

Explanation: 

The correct verb form is "affect" to match the subject "mobile phones". The question mark should come at the end of the sentence.

Improved version:

 How do mobile phones impact society at large?

Corrected version:

In the current pace of life, a growing number of people rely on technology and use their phones on the roads as well. 

Explanation: 

"Pace of" is the correct usage. "And use" is a more concise form. "On the roads as well" is the correct phrase to indicate the location of phone usage.

Improved version:

Amidst the contemporary rhythm of life, an expanding demographic relies heavily on technology, employing their phones even while traversing roads.

Corrected version:

If people use gadgets on roads, for instance, it becomes a significant factor behind this issue. 

Explanation: 

"On roads" is the correct preposition. "Becomes" is a more appropriate verb. "A significant factor" is more accurate than "a significant driving force".

Improved version:

If individuals resort to using gadgets on the roads, it emerges as a pivotal catalyst behind this predicament.

Corrected version:

Furthermore, in today's fast-paced and complex life, a greater number of people are using gadgets compared to the past, and they are using gadgets on roads. 

Explanation: 

The corrected sentence includes the appropriate verb form "are using" to maintain grammatical consistency. 

Improved version:

Moreover, in the midst of today's rapid and intricate existence, a greater multitude resort to using gadgets, particularly while navigating the roads.

Corrected version:

This may increase accidents as people rely on technology they do not know where they are. 

Explanation: 

"That where" should be corrected to simply "where" to form a correct and coherent sentence. 

Improved version:

Consequently, this might augment the incidence of accidents as technology-dependent individuals may lose awareness of their surroundings.

Corrected version:

Many pedestrians use these dangerous devices, and people who are driving cars also use these gadgets while driving. 

Explanation: 

"Person" should be pluralized to "people". The verb "uses" should be corrected to "use" to match the plural subject. 

Improved version:

A significant number of pedestrians employ these perilous devices, and motorists, too, succumb to the allure of gadgets whilst behind the wheel.

The original sentence is correct. 

Improved version:

As a result, crime rates could see an uptick.

Corrected version:

Turning to its possible solutions, perhaps immediate steps would be taken. 

Explanation: 

"It's" is a contraction of "it is" or "it has", while "its" is a possessive form. Since "possible solutions" is being possessed by "it", the correct form is "its".

Improved version:

As for potential solutions, immediate action might be requisite.

Corrected version:

Around the globe, multifaceted campaigns should be organised so that people become aware of these gadgets, and people who are addicted to using mobile phones should make a campaign for them and tell them that using high-tech gadgets has detrimental effects.  

Explanation: 

"Campaigns" should be plural to match the subject. "Of using mobile phones" should be corrected to "to using mobile phones" to express the purpose. "Using highly gadgets" should be corrected to "using high-tech gadgets" for clarity. "Detrimental effects" should be plural as well. 

Improved version:

Globally, orchestrating multifaceted campaigns could foster awareness about these gadgets. Simultaneously, individuals ensnared in the throes of mobile phone addiction could spearhead campaigns elucidating the adverse consequences of high-tech gadgetry.