35
Task-2
Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes
Common Errors
1
Source: Ms Manya Bhawra MT 02
Original Text
In various cultural contexts, children are systematically instilled with the belief that relentless efforts can grant them to achieve their objectives.
Corrected
Corrected version:
In various cultural contexts, children are systematically instilled with the belief that relentless efforts can enable them to achieve their objectives.
Explanation:
The error in the original sentence is the use of "grant" instead of "enable," which better conveys the intended meaning.
Improved
Improved version:
In various cultural contexts, children are systematically ingrained with the belief that relentless efforts are the key to unlocking their potential and achieving their objectives. This deeply rooted conviction acts as a powerful driving force, propelling them towards success.
2
Original Text
This essay endeavours to explore the intricate tapestry of merits and demerits underlying aforementioned assertion.
Corrected
Corrected version:
This essay endeavours to explore the intricate tapestry of merits and demerits underlying the aforementioned assertion.
Explanation:
The error in the original sentence is the missing article "the" before "aforementioned assertion.''
Improved
Improved version:
This essay undertakes an in-depth exploration of the intricate tapestry woven by the merits and demerits underlying the aforementioned assertion. A comprehensive analysis reveals the multifaceted nature of this concept, shedding light on its far-reaching implications.
3
Original Text
Certainly, various factors contribute to instruct children regarding work hard for their goals, as it contain numerous benefits that will give them the sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Certainly, various factors contribute to instruct children to work hard for their goals, as it contains numerous benefits that will give them a sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment.
Explanation:
The errors in the original sentence include the incorrect use of "work hard for their goals" and the subject-verb agreement issue with "it contain.''
Improved
Improved version:
Certainly, various factors contribute to the cultivation of a work ethic in children, as it encompasses numerous benefits that provide them with a profound sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment. Parents, in particular, play a pivotal role in motivating their offspring through the sharing of personal experiences from their own academic journeys.
4
Original Text
First and foremost, the younger only concentrate on their education that will assist them to achieve desired band score in their academic.
Corrected
Corrected version:
First and foremost, the young ones concentrate solely on their education, which will assist them in achieving the desired band score in their academics.
Explanation:
The original sentence had issues with clarity and subject-verb agreement.
Improved
Improved version:
First and foremost, young individuals channel their energies towards their education, recognizing its paramount importance in achieving the desired academic proficiency.
5
Original Text
To be more precise, parents should motivate their child via sharing real-life experience of their schooling time.
Corrected
Corrected version:
To be more precise, parents should motivate their children by sharing real-life experiences from their own schooling.
Explanation:
The corrected version clarifies the sentence and uses proper subject-verb agreement.
Improved
Improved version:
A solid educational foundation becomes the cornerstone of their future success, paving the way for their aspirations to become reality.
6
Original Text
Secondly, school mentors also plays an instrumental role in children’s lives, as they provide extra hours of study to students at educational institutions.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Secondly, school mentors also play an instrumental role in children’s lives by providing extra study hours at educational institutions.
Explanation:
The errors in the original sentence include the incorrect subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing.
Improved
Improved version:
Secondly, educators in schools assume an instrumental role in shaping the lives of children by offering supplementary study hours at educational institutions. These dedicated mentors provide invaluable guidance and unwavering support to students striving for excellence.
7
Original Text
For instance, the ministry of education has launched a 100 days reading campaign 'Padhe Bharat’, in which they promote the local language, culture of our society and students who want to study hard and grab the highest position in government sector.
Corrected
Corrected version:
For instance, the Ministry of Education has launched a 100-day reading campaign called 'Padhe Bharat,' in which they promote the local language, culture of our society, and students who aspire to study diligently and secure top positions in the government sector.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence addresses capitalization, punctuation, and clarity issues.
Improved
Improved version:
For instance, the Ministry of Education's launch of a 100-day reading campaign named 'Padhe Bharat' serves as a prime example. This initiative not only promotes the preservation of local language and culture but also fosters a culture of unwavering dedication among students aspiring to excel in the government sector.
8
Original Text
Thus, these are some advantages of this assertion.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Thus, these are some advantages of this concept.
Explanation:
The word "assertion" is replaced with "concept" for clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
Therefore, these advantages encompass a myriad of personal growth opportunities, cultural preservation, and enhanced career prospects. The holistic benefits of this ethos are undeniable.
9
Original Text
Indubitably, working hard unlock myriad opportunities essential for the pursuit of future aspirations and objectives.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Indubitably, working hard unlocks myriad opportunities essential for the pursuit of future aspirations and objectives.
Explanation:
The error in the original sentence is the subject-verb agreement issue with "unlock."
Improved
Improved version:
Indubitably, diligent effort unlocks a plethora of opportunities crucial for the pursuit of future aspirations and objectives. Diligence stands as the linchpin of individual achievement, opening doors to a world brimming with possibilities.
10
Original Text
Nevertheless, it would demonstrate detrimental impact on children’s lives.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Nevertheless, it could have a detrimental impact on children’s lives.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence improves clarity and uses proper conditional language.
Improved
Improved version:
Nonetheless, this pursuit of excellence may exact a toll on the lives of children. The relentless quest for academic perfection can manifest as excessive stress and pose significant mental health challenges for young learners.
11
Original Text
Firstly, encourage children to try hard in their academics would be burden on them.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Firstly, encouraging children to strive for excellence in their academics could be a burden on them.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence uses proper subject-verb agreement and phrasing.
Improved
Improved version:
Primarily, the act of encouraging children to strive for academic excellence can inadvertently become a burdensome endeavour. The delicate balance between fostering high academic expectations and nurturing a well-rounded childhood is fraught with challenges.
12
Original Text
To be more specific, burden would cause depression and anxiety among numerous students via which they are trying to commit suicide.
Corrected
Corrected version:
To be more specific, this burden could lead to depression and anxiety among numerous students, some of whom may attempt suicide.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence improves clarity and sentence structure.
Improved
Improved version:
To delve deeper into this issue, it becomes evident that this burden may precipitate depression and anxiety among numerous students, some of whom may even contemplate suicide. The emotional ramifications of excessive academic pressure should never be underestimated.
13
Original Text
In addition, pupils also stop to pursue of further education, through which they would face lack of job opportunities and notably, going through phase of poverty.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Additionally, pupils may also halt their pursuit of further education, which could lead to a lack of job opportunities and, notably, a phase of poverty.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence enhances clarity and uses proper phrasing.
Improved
Improved version:
Moreover, there exists the possibility that students may forego further education due to the overwhelming demands, leading to a dearth of job opportunities and, notably, a descent into poverty. Restricting access to higher education perpetuates socio-economic disparities.
14
Original Text
To conclude, according to aforementioned arguments it can be clearly inferred that diligence stand out as the linchpin of achievement for individuals, but it has both advantages and disadvantages.
Corrected
Corrected version:
In conclusion, based on the aforementioned arguments, it can be clearly inferred that diligence stands out as the linchpin of achievement for individuals, but it has both advantages and disadvantages.
Explanation:
The corrected sentence improves clarity, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
Improved
Improved version:
In conclusion, based on the foregoing arguments, it is patently clear that diligence indeed stands out as the linchpin of individual achievement. Nevertheless, achieving a harmonious equilibrium between hard work and the overall well-being of young learners should be the foremost priority, fostering an environment where their holistic development thrives.
Source: Ms Manya Bhawra MT 02
Original Text!
In various cultural contexts, children are systematically instilled with the belief that relentless efforts can grant them to achieve their objectives. This essay endeavours to explore the intricate tapestry of merits and demerits underlying aforementioned assertion.
Certainly, various factors contribute to instruct children regarding work hard for their goals, as it contain numerous benefits that will give them the sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment. First and foremost, the younger only concentrate on their education that will assist them to achieve desired band score in their academic. To be more precise, parents should motivate their child via sharing real- life experience of their schooling time. Secondly, school mentors also plays an instrumental role in children’s lives, as they provide extra hours of study to students at educational institutions.
For instance, the ministry of education has launched a 100 days reading campaign 'Padhe Bharat’, in which they promote the local language, culture of our society and students who want to study hard and grab the highest position in government sector. Thus, these are some advantages of this assertion. Indubitably, working hard unlock myriad opportunities essential for the pursuit of future aspirations and objectives. Nevertheless, it would demonstrate detrimental impact on children’s lives. Firstly, encourage children to try hard in their academics would be burden on them. To be more specific, burden would cause depression and anxiety among numerous students via which they are trying to commit suicide. In addition, pupils also stop to pursue of further education, through which they would face lack of job opportunities and notably, going through phase of poverty.
To conclude, according to aforementioned arguments it can be clearly inferred that diligence stand out as the linchpin of achievement for individuals, but it has both advantages and disadvantages.
Corrected!
In various cultural contexts, children are systematically instilled with the belief that relentless efforts can enable them to achieve their objectives. This essay endeavours to explore the intricate tapestry of merits and demerits underlying the aforementioned assertion.
Certainly, various factors contribute to instructing children to work hard for their goals, as it contains numerous benefits that will provide them with a sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment. First and foremost, the young ones concentrate solely on their education, which will assist them in achieving the desired band score in their academics. To be more precise, parents should motivate their children by sharing real-life experiences from their own schooling.
Secondly, school mentors also play an instrumental role in children’s lives, as they offer extra study hours to students at educational institutions. For instance, the Ministry of Education has launched a 100-day reading campaign called 'Padhe Bharat,' in which they promote the local language, culture of our society, and students who aspire to study diligently and secure top positions in the government sector. These are some advantages of this concept.
Indubitably, working hard unlocks myriad opportunities essential for the pursuit of future aspirations and objectives. Nevertheless, it could have a detrimental impact on children’s lives. Firstly, encouraging children to strive for excellence in their academics could become a burden on them. To be more specific, this burden could lead to depression and anxiety among numerous students, some of whom may attempt suicide. In addition, pupils may also halt their pursuit of further education, resulting in a lack of job opportunities and, notably, a descent into poverty.
To conclude, based on the aforementioned arguments, it can be clearly inferred that diligence stands out as the linchpin of achievement for individuals. However, it is crucial to strike a balance between hard work and the well-being of young learners. Ensuring their holistic development should be a priority.
IMPROVED VERSION
In diverse cultural contexts, children are inculcated with the belief that consistent effort is the key to unlocking their potential and attaining their goals. This essay examines the multiple facets of this claim, including both its merits and detriments. Clearly, diligence plays a crucial role in individual success, but it must be balanced with the welfare of young students.
Various factors contribute to the development of a strong work ethic in children. This work ethic provides children with numerous benefits, including a profound sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment. Parents, in particular, play a crucial role in motivating their children by sharing their own academic experiences. These experiences impart the significance of diligence and perseverance and serve as valuable life lessons. In addition, educators in schools play a significant role by providing extra study hours to students seeking academic excellence. For instance, the 'Padhe Bharat' campaign of the Ministry of Education promotes local language and culture while fostering a culture of dedication among students aspiring to excel in the public sector. These benefits highlight the importance of diligence in early childhood education.
However, the relentless pursuit of excellence can have negative effects on the lives of children. Young students may experience excessive stress and mental health issues as a result of the pressure to perform exceptionally well academically. It is difficult to achieve a balance between academic expectations and the holistic development of children. Excessive pressure may even lead some students to contemplate suicide, underscoring the emotional toll of academic rigour. In addition, the pressure of academic excellence may cause some students to forego further education, resulting in limited employment opportunities and, in some cases, poverty. This exacerbates socioeconomic disparities that already exist.
In conclusion, it is evident that diligence is the linchpin of individual success, presenting countless opportunities for future achievement. However, it is essential to strike a balance between young students' diligence and their well-being. The primary goal of our educational systems should be to facilitate the holistic development of children. This strategy fosters an environment in which diligence and personal development go hand in hand, resulting in a brighter and more equitable future for all.
KEY PHRASES AND VOCABULARY:
"The Role of Diligence in Childhood Education"
"In diverse cultural contexts"
"systematically instilled with the belief"
"unwavering efforts are the key"
"achieving their objectives"
"exploring both its merits and demerits"
"pivotal role in individual achievement"
"balanced with the well-being of young learners"
"instilling a strong work ethic in children"
"profound sense of self-satisfaction and fulfilment"
"valuable life lessons"
"importance of diligence and perseverance"
"instrumental role"
"academic excellence"
"Padhe Bharat' campaign"
"fostering a culture of dedication"
"underscore the significance of diligence in childhood education"
"relentless pursuit of excellence"
"detrimental effects on children's lives"
"pressure to perform exceptionally well academically"
"excessive stress and mental health challenges"
"striking a balance between academic expectations"
"contemplate suicide"
"emotional toll of academic rigour"
"burden of academic excellence"
"limited job opportunities"
"exacerbates existing socio-economic disparities"
"linchpin of individual achievement"
"myriad opportunities for future success"
"balance between diligence and the well-being of young learners"
"holistic development of children"
"primary objective of our educational systems"
"environment where diligence and personal growth go hand in hand"
"brighter and more equitable future for all"