25

Task-1

Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes

Common Errors 

1

Source: Ms Manya Bhawra MT 19

Original Text

The graphical representation in the form of line graph demonstrates the proportion of passenger railway journey made in Great Britain, spanning the period of 1950 and 2004.

Corrected

Corrected version:

The graphical representation, in the form of a line graph, demonstrates the proportion of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain, spanning the period from 1950 to 2004.

Explanation: 

I added a comma after "representation" for better punctuation. I also added "a" before "line graph" to make it grammatically correct. "Journey" was changed to "journeys," and I adjusted the preposition to "from" instead of "of" for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

The provided line graph meticulously illustrates the nuanced trends in passenger railway journeys within Great Britain, spanning the years from 1950 to 2004. 

2

Original Text

In an overview, at first glance, it can be clearly inferred that national railway network had highest number of passenger in Great Britain.

Corrected

Corrected version:

In an overview, at first glance, it can be clearly inferred that the national railway network had the highest number of passengers in Great Britain.


Explanation: 

I added "the" before  "national railway network" to make it grammatically correct. "Number of passenger" was changed to "number of passengers" to match the plural form of "passengers."

Improved

Improved version:

Upon an initial analysis, it becomes patently clear that the national railway network in Great Britain consistently held the highest share of passengers throughout this period. 

3

Original Text

Regarding information of National Rail network, in 1950, an escalating number of passenger witnessed in railway of great Britain which was 1000 million.

Corrected

Corrected version:

Regarding information about the National Rail network, in 1950, an escalating number of passengers were witnessed on the railways of Great Britain, which was 1000 million. 

Explanation: 

I added "about" to clarify the sentence. I changed "passenger" to "passengers" to match the plural form. The sentence structure was improved for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

Shifting our focus to the data concerning the National Rail network, 1950 marked a significant upturn in passenger numbers, culminating at a staggering 1,000 million. 

4

Original Text

Surprisingly, down surge fluctuations inferred in the number of passengers until the period of 1980.

Corrected

Corrected version:

Surprisingly, there were downward surge fluctuations in the number of passengers until the period of 1980.


Explanation:

I added "there were" for grammatical correctness and changed "down surge fluctuations" to "downward surge fluctuations" for clarity. 

Improved

Improved version:

Strikingly, the data reveals distinct downward fluctuations in passenger numbers until the 1980s. 

5

Original Text

In 1990, minimal increase in travellers of Great Britain and in the end of the period again reached 1000 millions.

Corrected

Corrected version:

In 1990, there was a minimal increase in the number of travellers in Great Britain, and at the end of the period, it again reached 1000 million.


Explanation: 

I added "there was" for grammatical correctness. "Travellers of Great Britain" was changed to "the number of travellers in Great Britain" for clarity. "1000 millions" was changed to "1000 million" to correct the plural form.

Improved

Improved version:

In the year 1990, there was a marginal increment in the number of travellers within Great Britain, eventually achieving the pinnacle of 1,000 million by the end of the period under examination. 

6

Original Text

Turning to the data regarding London Underground and light railway and metro system, in 1950, only 750 million passenger of London Underground and until the period of 1980 the number remains constant.

Corrected

Corrected version:

Turning to the data regarding the London Underground, light railway, and metro system, in 1950, only 750 million passengers used the London Underground, and until the period of 1980, the number remained constant.


Explanation: 

I added "the" before "London Underground" for grammatical correctness. I separated "light railway" and "metro system" with commas for clarity. "Passenger of London Underground" was changed to "passengers used the London Underground" for clarity and proper phrasing. Added "used the" to convey the intended meaning.

Improved

Improved version:

Shifting our attention to the data pertaining to the London Underground, light railway, and metro systems, 1950 bore witness to the utilisation of the London Underground by merely 750 million passengers. This figure remained comparatively stable until the year 1980. 

7

Original Text

  In 2004, the number of passenger arrived at peak and level off.

Corrected

Corrected version:

In 2004, the number of passengers reached its peak and leveled off.

Explanation: 

I changed "passenger" to "passengers" for correct plural form. "Arrived at peak" was changed to "reached its peak" for clarity and proper phrasing.

Improved

Improved version:

Fast-forwarding to 2004, the number of passengers utilising the London Underground reached its zenith, subsequently stabilising. 

8

Original Text

The light railway and metro system invested, in 1970, therefore number of passenger of that was small throughout the period.

Corrected

Corrected version:

The light railway and metro system was introduced in 1970; therefore, the number of passengers for that remained small throughout the period.


Explanation: 


I rephrased the sentence for clarity and grammatical correctness. Changed "invested" to "was introduced" to convey the intended meaning. Added a semicolon after "1970" for proper punctuation.

Improved

Improved version:

The inception of the light railway and metro system in 1970 yielded a consistently modest passenger count throughout the entire duration. 

Source: Ms Manya Bhawra  07-09-23  MT 19

Original Text!

The graphical representation  in the form of line graph demonstrates the proportion of passenger railway journey made in Great Britain, spanning the period of 1950 and 2004. 

In an overview, at first glance, it can be clearly inferred that national railway network had highest number of passenger in Great Britain. 

Regarding information of National Rail network, in 1950, an escalating number of passenger witnessed in railway of great Britain which was 1000 million. Surprisingly,  down surge fluctuations inferred in the number of passengers until the period of 1980. In 1990, minimal increase in travellers of Great Britain and in the end of the period again reached 1000 millions. 

Turning to the data regarding London Underground and light railway and metro system, in 1950, only 750 million passenger of London Underground and until the period of 1980 the number remains constant. In 2004, the number of passenger arrived at peak and level off. The light railway and metro system invested, in 1970, therefore number of passenger of that was small throughout the period.

Corrected!

The line graph represents the proportion of passenger railway journeys made in Great Britain from 1950 to 2004. At first glance, it is clear that the national railway network had the highest number of passengers in Great Britain.
Regarding the information on the National Rail network, in 1950, there was an increasing number of passengers, reaching 1000 million. Surprisingly, there were fluctuations and a decline in the number of passengers until 1980. In 1990, there was a minimal increase in the number of travelers in Great Britain, and by the end of the period, it again reached 1000 million.
Turning to the data regarding the London Underground and light railway and metro system, in 1950, there were only 750 million passengers on the London Underground, and this number remained constant until 1980. In 2004, the number of passengers reached its peak and leveled off. The light railway and metro system were invested in 1970, therefore the number of passengers remained small throughout the period.

IMPROVED VERSION

The provided line graph offers a comprehensive overview of passenger railway journeys in Great Britain from 1950 to 2004. Upon initial examination, it is evident that the national railway network consistently carried the largest volume of passengers throughout this period. In contrast, the London Underground, light railway, and metro system exhibited a different trend, with a notable increase in passenger numbers by 2004.

The data concerning the National Rail network reveals a significant surge in passenger numbers in 1950, reaching an astonishing 1,000 million. However, this was followed by a substantial decline until the 1980s. By 1990, there was a modest resurgence, ultimately plateauing at 1,000 million by the end of the analysis. Interestingly, the figures demonstrate distinct downward fluctuations in passenger numbers until the 1980s.

Shifting our attention to the London Underground, light railway, and metro systems, it is noteworthy that in 1950, the London Underground served only 750 million passengers, a number that remained relatively stable until 1980. By 2004, however, the passenger count for these systems had reached its peak, marking a notable shift.

In summation, the data provided underscores the dominance of the national railway network in Great Britain's passenger transportation landscape. Additionally, the London Underground and related systems experienced a substantial increase in passenger numbers over the years, indicating evolving preferences in the mode of transportation.

Key Phrases and Vocabulary