7
Embedded Files
1
Source: Mr Nasir Hussain 03-07-23 MT 4
Original Text
Paul Rodriguez, a mexican American novelist of international acclaim, once confessed, "Hunting is not a sports, in a sports other know they are in a game."
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Paul Rodriguez, a Mexican American novelist of international acclaim, once confessed, "Hunting is not a sport; in sports, others know they are in a game."
Explanation:
"mexican" should be capitalized as "Mexican" since it refers to the nationality.
"sports" should be corrected to "sport" as the sentence is discussing hunting as an activity, not multiple sports.
"other" should be pluralized as "others" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
Added a semicolon (;) instead of a comma (,) to separate the clauses.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Renowned Mexican American novelist Paul Rodriguez once candidly stated, "Hunting is not merely a sport; in true sports, participants are aware they are engaged in a game."
Explanation:
Enhanced the introduction by using "renowned" to highlight Paul Rodriguez's stature as a novelist.
Replaced "confessed" with "candidly stated" for more precise language.
Strengthened the sentence by emphasizing that participants in true sports are fully aware of the game aspect.
2
Original Text
Animal hunting is practiced in many nations, they think that it is a pride.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Animal hunting is practiced in many nations; they believe it is a source of pride.
Explanation:
Added a semicolon (;) to separate the clauses.
Replaced "they think that it is a pride" with "they believe it is a source of pride" for clarity and correct grammar.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Animal hunting is a practice observed in numerous nations, with some considering it a source of pride.
Explanation:
Maintained the sentence structure while improving the vocabulary and phrasing.
Replaced "practiced" with "observed" to convey a broader sense of occurrence.
Used "considering" instead of "they believe" for variety and accuracy.
3
Original Text
Some believe that it is a sports, while other opine that it is harmful for the society.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Some believe that it is a sport, while others opine that it is harmful to society.
Explanation:
"sports" should be corrected to "sport" as the sentence refers to hunting as an activity, not multiple sports.
"the society" should be changed to "society" for correct grammar.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Diverse opinions exist regarding whether hunting qualifies as a sport or poses harm to society.
Explanation:
Enhanced the sentence by using "diverse opinions" for a more academic tone.
Replaced "some believe" and "others opine" with "whether" for conciseness and clarity.
Emphasized the range of viewpoints by using "qualifies as a sport" instead of "it is a sport."
4
Original Text
I strongly believe that, animal hunting is a cruel practice which ever happened.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
I strongly believe that animal hunting is a cruel practice that should never occur.
Explanation:
Removed the comma after "that" for smoother sentence structure.
Changed "which ever happened" to "that should never occur" to express the belief that animal hunting is inherently cruel.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Personally, I firmly contend that animal hunting is an inherently cruel practice that should be vehemently condemned.
Explanation:
Strengthened the language by using "firmly contend" instead of "strongly believe."
Replaced "practice which ever happened" with "practice that should be vehemently condemned" to express a stronger stance against hunting.
Added "personally" to enhance the writer's voice and clarity.
5
Original Text
Nowadays, human strongly consists some practices as the leasure activity, but I am strongly disagree with there hobbies.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Nowadays, humans strongly engage in certain practices as leisure activities, but I strongly disagree with their hobbies.
Explanation:
"human" should be pluralized as "humans" for subject-verb agreement.
Replaced "consists" with "engage in" to convey the idea of participation in activities.
"the leasure activity" should be changed to "leisure activities" for correct grammar.
"there" should be corrected to "their" to indicate possession.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Present-day society actively engages in various leisure activities, but I strongly disagree with certain recreational pursuits.
Explanation:
Replaced "nowadays" with "present-day society" for a more formal tone.
Improved the sentence by using "actively engages in" instead of "strongly consists" for clearer expression.
Used "recreational pursuits" instead of "their hobbies" for more precise vocabulary.
6
Original Text
People do not bother about the others life in their fun.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
People do not consider the lives of others in their pursuit of enjoyment.
Explanation:
"others life" should be corrected to "the lives of others" for proper phrasing.
Replaced "bother" with "consider" to better convey the lack of concern.
"in their fun" changed to "in their pursuit of enjoyment" for clearer expression.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
In their pursuit of enjoyment, individuals often disregard the impact of their actions on others' lives.
Explanation:
Strengthened the sentence by using "pursuit of enjoyment" instead of "fun" for a more sophisticated tone.
Replaced "do not bother" with "often disregard" for stronger language.
Emphasized the impact on "others' lives" instead of "the lives of others" for greater clarity.
7
Original Text
One who considered it as a sport, are totally on a wrong track.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Those who consider it a sport are completely mistaken.
Explanation:
"One who considered" should be changed to "Those who consider" for subject consistency.
"are" should be corrected to "are" for subject-verb agreement.
"totally on a wrong track" changed to "completely mistaken" for clearer meaning.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Those who perceive hunting as a sport are fundamentally misguided in their understanding.
Explanation:
Enhanced the sentence by using "fundamentally misguided" for a more academic tone.
Replaced "are totally on a wrong track" with "in their understanding" to express a clearer idea.
Retained the sentence structure while improving vocabulary and precision.
8
Original Text
Just for the thrill of few minutes, the destroy the life of other living being.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
Just for the thrill of a few minutes, they destroy the lives of other living beings.
Explanation:
Added the article "a" before "few minutes" for proper phrasing.
"the destroy" corrected to "they destroy" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
"life" should be pluralized as "lives" to match the plural subject.
"other living being" should be changed to "other living beings" for correct grammar.
9
Original Text
There are also concerns about, the family of those animals, they too have kids.
Corrected
Corrected
Corrected version:
There are also concerns about the families of those animals; they too have offspring.
Explanation:
Removed the comma after "about" for smoother sentence structure.
"the family" changed to "the families" to match the plural subject.
Replaced "kids" with "offspring" for a more formal and accurate term.
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Concerns also arise regarding the well-being of the animal families affected, as they too have offspring.
Explanation:
Maintained the sentence structure while improving the language and clarity.
Used "concerns also arise" for a more formal tone.
Replaced "they too have kids" with "as they too have offspring" for more accurate and mature phrasing.
Source: Mr Nasir Hussain 03-07-23 MT 4
Original Text!
Paul Rodriguez, a mexican American novelist of international acclaim, once confessed , "Hunting is not a sports, in a sports other know they are in a game." Animal hunting is practiced in many nations, they think that it is a pride. Some believe that it is a sports, while other opine that it is harmful for the society I strongly believe that, animal hunting is a cruel practice which ever happened.
Nowadays, human strongly consists some practices as the leasure activity, but I am strongly disagree with there hobbies. People do not bother about the others life in their fun. One who considered it as a sport, are totally on a wrong track. Just for the thrill of few minutes, the destroy the life of other living being. There are also concerns about, the family of those animals, they too have kids. It also effects the food chain of the species, which may leads to imbalance in the environment.
In my prospective, poaching of the animals is unlawful activity in many countries. All the Nations should make strict rules and regulations against it, so we may prevent it. The most alarming factor is the ruin of some special animals from their habitat, they are a lot of endangered species, which must not be hurted. They act as a heritage for our country. Beasts should be protected in their survivors, they must not be hurted by the outsiders.
To Conclude, animals should not be haunted just because of the adventure of some native. They must be preserved and kept in eco friendly environment.
Corrected!
Paul Rodriguez, a Mexican American novelist of international acclaim, once confessed, "Hunting is not a sport; in a sport, others know they are in a game." Animal hunting is practiced in many nations, as they take pride in it. Some believe it is a sport, while others opine that it is harmful to society. I strongly believe that animal hunting is a cruel practice that should never occur.
Nowadays, humans engage in certain practices as leisure activities, but I strongly disagree with their hobbies. People do not consider the lives of others in their pursuit of fun. Those who consider it a sport are completely mistaken. Just for a few minutes of thrill, they destroy the lives of other living beings. There are also concerns about the families of those animals; they too have offspring. It also affects the food chain of the species, leading to an imbalance in the environment.
From my perspective, poaching animals is an unlawful activity in many countries. All nations should establish strict rules and regulations against it to prevent such acts. The most alarming factor is the destruction of some special animals from their habitats. There are numerous endangered species that must not be harmed, as they serve as a heritage for our country. These creatures should be protected in their habitats and not subjected to harm by outsiders.
In conclusion, animals should not be hunted merely for the adventure of some individuals. They must be preserved and kept in an eco-friendly environment.
IMPROVED VERSION
Animal hunting has become a subject of debate in various nations, with differing perspectives on whether it should be regarded as a sport or recognized as a detrimental practice. This essay explores the cruelty of animal hunting and argues for the urgent need to protect and preserve wildlife in a sustainable and eco-friendly environment.
One school of thought perceives hunting as a source of pride and entertainment, considering it a legitimate sport. However, it is crucial to recognize that true sports involve participants who are fully aware that they are engaged in a game. Mexican American novelist Paul Rodriguez astutely remarked that hunting cannot be classified as a sport due to the absence of this fundamental understanding. Therefore, it is evident that the notion of hunting as a sport is flawed.
While some individuals view hunting as a recreational activity, it is important to acknowledge the severe consequences it poses to both the targeted animals and society as a whole. Hunting as a leisure pursuit disregards the lives of innocent beings solely for the transient thrill it offers. The wanton destruction of lives disrupts the delicate balance of ecosystems and jeopardizes the food chain, potentially leading to environmental imbalances. Moreover, it raises concerns about the well-being of animal families and their offspring, further emphasizing the detrimental effects of hunting on the wider natural world.
In many countries, the unlawful practice of animal poaching persists, endangering various species and undermining conservation efforts. To address this issue, nations should establish and enforce stringent regulations against poaching. Protection measures must extend to safeguarding the habitats of endangered animals, which serve as invaluable assets to our heritage. The preservation of these majestic creatures and their survival should be prioritized, ensuring they are shielded from harm inflicted by outsiders.
In conclusion, the practice of animal hunting is inherently cruel and incompatible with the principles of true sportsmanship. It is imperative that steps are taken to prevent the wanton destruction of wildlife. Nations must unite in implementing robust rules and regulations to curtail animal poaching and protect endangered species. By preserving and nurturing the diverse array of fauna in an eco-friendly environment, we can uphold our responsibility as stewards of the natural world and secure a sustainable future for generations to come.
Key Phrases:
Animal hunting
Subject of debate
Differing perspectives
Regarded as a sport
Detrimental practice
Cruelty of animal hunting
Urgent need
Protect and preserve wildlife
Sustainable and eco-friendly environment
School of thought
Source of pride
Entertainment
Legitimate sport
True sports
Engaged in a game
Notion of hunting as a sport
Recreational activity
Disregards the lives
Transient thrill
Wanton destruction
Delicate balance of ecosystems
Jeopardizes the food chain
Environmental imbalances
Concerns about the well-being
Animal families and their offspring
Unlawful practice
Animal poaching
Endangering various species
Undermining conservation efforts
Establish and enforce stringent regulations
Protection measures
Safeguarding the habitats
Endangered animals
Invaluable assets
Preservation of these majestic creatures
Shielded from harm
Inherently cruel
True sportsmanship
Steps are taken
Wanton destruction of wildlife
Curtail animal poaching
Protect endangered species
Preserve and nurture
Eco-friendly environment
Stewards of the natural world
Sustainable future
Improved
Improved
Improved version:
Driven by momentary thrills, they callously extinguish the lives of sentient beings.
Explanation:
Strengthened the sentence by using "driven by momentary thrills" instead of "just for the thrill of a few minutes" for more impactful language.
Replaced "the destroy" with "callously extinguish" for a more powerful expression.
Replaced "other living beings" with "sentient beings" for precise and sophisticated vocabulary.
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