3

Task-2

Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes

Common Errors 

1

Source: Ms Lovepreet Kaur 26-6-23 

Original Text

Nowadays, in many urbanization nations are decline the population over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years old and over.

Corrected

Corrected version:

Nowadays, in many urbanied nations, the population will decline over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years old and over. 

Explanation:  

The original sentence uses the plural verb "are" with the singular subject "nation." The corrected sentence uses the singular verb "will decline" to agree with the singular subject "nation." 

Improved

Improved version:

Nowadays, in many urbanized nations, the population is expected to decline over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years old and over. 

2

Original Text

This essay will be discuss problems of the birth rate decrease and give relevant solutions to tackle this issue. 

Corrected

Corrected version:

This essay will discuss the problems of the birth rate decrease and give relevant solutions to tackle this issue. 

Explanation: 

The original sentence uses the wrong verb tense. The verb "discuss" should be in the present tense because the action of discussing is happening now.

Improved

Improved version:

This essay will discuss the problems of a declining birth rate and offer relevant solutions to address this issue. 

3

Original Text

Another concerned of falling population is labour and employees will diminish, hence the industrial rate will drop. 

Corrected

Corrected version:

Another concern of falling population is that labor and employees will diminish, hence the industrial rate will drop.

Explanation: 

The original sentence uses the wrong preposition. The preposition "of" should be "about" because it is used to introduce a noun or pronoun that is the object of a prepositional phrase. 

Improved

Improved version:

Another concern about a falling population is that the labor force and the number of employees will decline, which could lead to a drop in the industrial rate. 

4

Original Text

In other words, people aged 25 to 35 will be healthy and energetic; they are easily done heavy work such as machine and loading. 

Corrected

Corrected version:

In other words, people aged 25 to 35 will be healthy and energetic, and they can easily do heavy work such as operating machines and loading. 

Explanation: 

The original sentence uses the wrong verb tense. The verb "done" should be "do" because the action of doing the work is happening now.

Improved

Improved version:

In other words, people aged 25 to 35 are healthy and energetic, and they can easily do heavy work such as operating machines and loading. 

5

Original Text

However, the older people are not as powerful as the young people, and they do not work hard due to their health issues. 

Corrected

Corrected version:

However, the older people are not as powerful as the young people, and they do not work hard because of their health issues. 

Explanation: 

The original sentence uses the wrong conjunction. The conjunction "due to" should be "because" because it is used to introduce a reason for something. 

Improved

Improved version:

Older people's brain capacity may diminish over the years, but younger people's capacity will remain high not only in terms of thinking of new innovations but also in terms of their potential for immigration.

Source: Ms Lovepreet Kaur 26-6-23 

Original Text!

Nowadays, in many urbanization nations are decline the population over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years old and over. This essay will be discuss problems of the birth rate decrease and give relevant solutions to tackle this issue.

To begin with, the major effect of a declining birth rate is lack of younger generations results in fewer innovations because older people's brain capacity will diminish over the year, but the youngsters capacity will be high not only in thinking of new innovations but also in immigration power. Another concerned of falling population is labour and employees will diminish, hence the industrial rate will drop. In other words, people aged 25 to 35 will be healthy and energetic; they are easily done heavy work such as machine and loading, but the older were not powerful like youngones, they do not work hard due to their health issues.

Turning to the appropriate solutions of this issue Potential remedies include the government organising family-friendly policies. Due to this, people can be aware to help the authorities increase the number of new generations. For example, in 2000, the Indian government can be organised a policy named "Hum Do Humare Do" by WHO. Due to this policy, the government can be balanced population and economy of the country. In addition, the organisations of countries can allow immigration policies for individuals. In other words, immigration policy helps the country to improve its industrial area because number of people can travel one country to another for work. Due to this, develop countries balance their labour and employees for work and increase their GDP.

To sum up, there are numerous issues can be occur by birth rate falling such as reduced workers and new innovations also reduce, whereas there are some solutions to deal with this issue, such as family planning policies and immigration.

Corrected!

Nowadays, in many urbanised nations, the population will decline over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years of age and older. This essay will discuss the problems of the birth rate decrease and give relevant solutions to tackle this issue.

To begin with, the major effect of a declining birth rate is that the lack of younger generations results in fewer innovations because older people's brain capacity will diminish over the year, but the youngsters capacity will be high not only in thinking of new innovations but also in immigration power. Another concern with a falling population is that labour and employees will diminish, hence the industrial rate will drop. In other words, people aged 25 to 35 will be healthy and energetic; they are easily able to do heavy work such as machine and loading, but the older people are not as powerful as the young ones; they do not work hard due to their health issues.

Turning to the appropriate solutions for this issue Potential remedies include the government organising family-friendly policies. Due to this, people can be aware and help the authorities increase the number of new generations. For example, in 2000, the Indian government organised a policy named "Hum Do Humare Do" by the WHO. Due to this policy, the government can balance the population and economy of the country. In addition, the organisations of countries can allow immigration policies for individuals. In other words, immigration policy helps the country improve its industrial area because more people can travel from one country to another for work. Due to this, developing countries balance their labour and employees for work and increase their GDP.

To sum up, there are numerous issues that can arise from the falling birth rate, such as reduced workers and new innovations, whereas there are some solutions to deal with this issue, such as family planning policies and immigration.

IMPROVED VERSION

In many urbanised nations, the population is expected to decline over the next 50 years, and around 40% of the citizens will be 65 years old or older. This decline in the birth rate can have a number of negative consequences, including fewer innovations and a drop in the industrial rate.

One of the major effects of a declining birth rate is a lack of younger generations. This can lead to fewer innovations, as younger people are often more creative and open to new ideas. Additionally, a lack of younger people can lead to a decline in the labour force and the number of employees, which could lead to a drop in the industrial rate.

There are a number of possible solutions to address the problems of a declining birth rate. One solution is to increase government incentives for having children. This could include tax breaks, childcare subsidies, or parental leave benefits. Another solution is to provide more support for working parents. This could include flexible work arrangements, on-site childcare, or transportation subsidies. Finally, it is important to promote immigration, as immigrants can help offset the decline in the native-born population.

These solutions could help ensure that the population remains stable and that the economy continues to grow. However, it is important to note that there is no single solution that will work for all countries. The best approach will vary depending on the specific circumstances of each country.

Key Phrases and Vocabulary