26

Task-2

Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes

Common Errors 

1

Source: Ms Falguni Nanda 06-09-23  MT 05

Original Text

"Parents, education and society plays a pivotal role in building up the behaviour of childrens."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Parents, education, and society play a pivotal role in shaping the behaviour of children."

Explanation:


The original sentence had a subject-verb agreement error. "Play" should agree with the plural subject "parents, education, and society."

Improved

Improved version:

"Parents, education, and society collectively play a pivotal role in moulding the behaviour of children." 

2

Original Text

 "According to the news, 40% of childrens are commiting crimes."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"According to the  news, 40% of children are committing crimes."

Explanation: 

The word "children" is already plural, so there's no need for "childrens." Also, "commiting" should be corrected to "committing."

Improved

Improved version:

"According to reports, 40% of children are engaging in criminal activities." 

3

Original Text

"One of the most viral news is of one of the students in yamunanagar brutelly murdered a teacher of the school and now she is incarcerated inmates."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"One of the most viral news stories is about a student in Yamunanagar brutally murdering a teacher at the school, and now she is incarcerated with other inmates."

Explanation: 

The original sentence had multiple errors, including incorrect word order, spelling ("brutelly" corrected to "brutally"), and the misuse of "incarcerated inmates." The corrected version provides clarity and proper grammar.

Improved

Improved version:

"One of the most widely reported news stories involves a student from Yamunanagar brutally murdering a schoolteacher, resulting in her incarceration alongside other inmates."

4

Original Text

 "Various factors contributes to these are including socio-economic and personal issues."

Corrected

Corrected version:

 "Various factors contribute to these, including socio-economic and personal issues."


Explanation: 


The original sentence had subject-verb agreement issues. "Contributes" should be corrected to "contribute," and the sentence structure was improved for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"Multiple factors contribute to this situation, including socio-economic and personal issues." 

5

Original Text

"However, these issues can be addressed by raising awareness among them."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"However, these issues can be addressed by raising awareness about them."

Explanation: 

The original sentence was grammatically correct but slightly awkward. The corrected version is more natural.

Improved

Improved version:

"However, these issues can be mitigated through the proactive promotion of awareness."

6

Original Text

"The main reasons for criminal craving are money and basic needs."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"The main reasons for criminal behaviour are money and basic needs."

Explanation: 

The original sentence used "craving" instead of "behaviour," which was a more appropriate term to describe the context.

Improved

Improved version:

"The primary drivers of criminal behaviour are economic factors, primarily the pursuit of money and basic necessities."

7

Original Text

"For instance, due to increase in technology, many employees get fired from the job because innovation can led to higher unemployment rates."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"For instance, due to an increase in technology, many employees lose their jobs because innovation can lead to higher unemployment rates." 

Explanation: 

The original sentence had errors in article usage and subject-verb agreement. The corrected version addresses these issues for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"For example, the increasing use of technology often leads to job loss, which, in turn, results in higher unemployment rates."

8

Original Text

"Their unemployment end up on poverty and this is the root cause of crime, most of these are reported in urban or some backward areas."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Their unemployment leads to poverty, which is the root cause of most crimes, with many of them being reported in urban or economically disadvantaged areas."

Explanation: 

The original sentence had awkward phrasing and subject-verb agreement issues. The corrected version provides a clearer and more grammatically correct expression.

Improved

Improved version:

"Unemployment can lead to poverty, which is a root cause of most crimes, with many of them concentrated in urban or economically disadvantaged areas."

9

Original Text

"As a result, the government should take some active measured towards crimes and criminals as they are the second hand of crime because some victims get justice after 8 to 9 years and in the meanwhile they commits more crimes and sometime cases end up with the suicide of victims and this shed more light on careless government."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"As a result, the government should take active measures to address crimes and criminals since they contribute significantly to criminal activities. Delayed justice, lasting 8 to 9 years, can lead some victims to commit more crimes, and sometimes cases end with the victims' suicides, shedding light on a negligent government."

Explanation: 

The original sentence had numerous grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and lack of clarity. The corrected version provides a more coherent and grammatically correct statement.

Improved

Improved version:

"Consequently, the government should take comprehensive measures to address criminal activities and the associated factors. Lengthy delays in the justice system, lasting 8 to 9 years, may push some victims towards further criminal acts. In some cases, victims resort to suicide, highlighting the government's negligence."

10

Original Text

"In conclusion, goverment bodies, parents and society should take active measures equally, and in the best way to make the country 'Crime Free.'"

Corrected

Corrected version:

"In conclusion, government bodies, parents, and society should take proactive measures collectively and in the most effective way to make the country 'Crime-Free.'"

Explanation: 

 The original sentence had spelling errors ("goverment" corrected to "government") and awkward phrasing. The corrected version addresses these issues for clarity and correctness.

Improved

Improved version:

"In conclusion, government institutions, parents, and society should collaboratively implement effective measures to make the country 'Crime-Free.' This collective effort is crucial for the betterment of our society."

Source: Ms Falguni Nanda  06-09-23  MT 05

Original Text!

An unprecedented increase in crime rates across contemporary nation, globally, has multifaceted factors in executing our country towards criminal nation which includes many far-reaching effects.

An escalating numbers of crimes elucidates the myriad underlying causes to human's mind, especially to the brain of today's children, as pervasive lack of awareness regarding the critical importance of good society, education, moral skills and many more.

Parents, education and society plays a pivotal role in building up the behaviour of childrens.

According to the news, 40% of childrens are commiting crimes. One of the most viral news is of one of the students in yamunanagar brutelly murdered a teacher of the school and now she is incarcerated inmates. Various factors contributes to these are including socio-economic and personal issues. However, these issues can be addressed by raising awareness among them. 

The main reasons for criminal craving are money and basic needs. For instance, due to increase in technology, many employees get fired from the job because innovation can led to higher unemployment rates. Their unemployment end up on poverty and this is the root cause of crime, most of these are reported in urban or some backward areas.

As a result, the government should take some active measured towards crimes and criminals as they are the second hand of crime because some victims get justice after 8 to 9 years and in the meanwhile they commits more crimes and sometime cases end up with the suicide of victims and this shed more light on careless government.

In conclusion, goverment bodies, parents and society should take active measures equally, and in the best way to make the country 'Crime Free.'

Corrected!

        An unprecedented increase in crime rates across contemporary nations globally has multifaceted factors that are pushing our country towards becoming a criminal nation, with far-reaching effects.
             The escalating numbers of crimes elucidate the myriad underlying causes in the human mind, especially in the brains of today's children. Pervasive lack of awareness regarding the critical importance of a good society, education, moral skills, and many more contribute to this issue. Parents, education, and society play a pivotal role in shaping the behavior of children.
            According to the news, 40% of children are committing crimes. One of the most viral news stories is about a student in Yamunanagar brutally murdering a teacher at school, and now she is incarcerated. Various factors contribute to these crimes, including socio-economic and personal issues. However, these issues can be addressed by raising awareness among them.
            The main reasons for criminal behavior are money and basic needs. For instance, due to an increase in technology, many employees get fired from their jobs because innovation can lead to higher unemployment rates. Their unemployment leads to poverty, which is the root cause of crime. Most of these crimes are reported in urban or backward areas.
          As a result, the government should take active measures against crimes and criminals, as they are the second hand of crime. Some victims wait for justice for 8 to 9 years, and in the meantime, they commit more crimes. Sometimes, cases end up with the suicide of victims, shedding more light on the government's carelessness.
           In conclusion, government bodies, parents, and society should take active measures equally and in the best way possible to make the country 'Crime Free.'

IMPROVED VERSION

 In recent times, there has been an alarming upsurge in crime rates on a global scale. This issue has multifaceted roots, which require immediate attention and concerted efforts from various stakeholders, including governments, parents, and society at large, to steer our nations away from the precipice of criminality. This essay explores the underlying factors contributing to the surge in crime, the roles of different entities in addressing this challenge, and proposes a way forward towards a safer society.

Firstly, it is imperative to understand that the escalating incidence of crimes reflects the complex interplay of factors impacting individuals, particularly the younger generation. Many of these factors are linked to a pervasive lack of awareness regarding the pivotal role played by a healthy society, quality education, and moral values. Consequently, young people may be drawn towards criminal activities, as they lack guidance and fail to grasp the importance of ethical conduct.

Parents, education institutions, and society as a whole wield significant influence in shaping the behaviour of our youth. Therefore, a critical aspect of addressing this issue lies in equipping these entities with the tools to foster a strong moral compass in young minds. Parents should actively engage with their children, imparting values and instilling a sense of responsibility. Simultaneously, educational institutions should focus not only on academic excellence but also on character development. Society must work collectively to raise awareness about the consequences of criminal behaviour and provide alternatives through community programs and support networks.

Additionally, economic factors such as the pursuit of money and basic necessities are prime motivators for criminal activities. The rapid advancement of technology, for instance, has led to job displacement and increased unemployment rates. As a result, individuals who find themselves unemployed and in dire financial straits may resort to criminal acts as a means of survival. This underscores the need for governments to address economic disparities and unemployment through sustainable policies and job creation initiatives.

Furthermore, the delayed dispensation of justice exacerbates the problem, as some victims may resort to further criminality due to a lack of timely redress. This, in turn, leads to additional societal challenges and a sense of insecurity. Governments should streamline judicial processes to ensure swift justice, thereby deterring potential offenders and preventing the recurrence of crimes.

In conclusion, the rising tide of crime is a complex issue with deep-rooted causes. To combat this menace and create a safer society, it is essential for governments, parents, and society to work hand in hand. This collaborative effort should encompass nurturing ethical values, addressing economic disparities, and reforming the justice system. Only through such concerted actions can we hope to steer our nations away from the brink of criminality and towards a future of security and prosperity.

Key Phrases: