Corrected version:

This given pie chart shows electricity production in Germany and France through all kinds of sources and specifically shows renewable sources of electric power.

Error: "all kind of source" should be "all kinds of sources." 

Explanation: "Source" is singular, so it should be changed to the plural form "sources" to match the subject.

Improved version:

This pie chart illustrates the electricity production in both Germany and France across various sources, with a particular focus on renewable energy. 

Corrected version:

"Firstly, let's discuss electricity production in Germany." 

Error: "discuss about" should be "discuss."

Explanation: 

The word "about" is unnecessary in this context. "Discuss" alone is sufficient to convey the intended meaning.

Improved version:

Firstly, let us delve into the topic of electricity production in Germany. 

Corrected version:

"In 2009, Germany generated a total of three types of energy: the first one being conventional thermal, the second one being nuclear energy, and the last one being renewable sources of energy." 

Error: "has generated total 3 type of energy" should be "generated a total of three types of energy."

Explanation: 

The verb "has generated" should be changed to "generated" to match the past tense of the sentence. Additionally, "total 3 type of energy" should be "a total of three types of energy" to use proper article and plural forms.

Improved version:

In 2009, Germany successfully generated a diverse range of three energy types: namely conventional thermal, nuclear, and renewable sources. 

Corrected version:

"Among these, conventional thermal energy had a significant share of 59.6%."

Error: "had huge shares" should be "had a significant share." 

Explanation: 

The phrase "had huge shares" lacks specificity. It can be rephrased as "had a significant share" to convey a clearer meaning.

Improved version:

Notably, conventional thermal energy accounted for a substantial share of 59.6% among these sources. 

Corrected version:

"Nuclear energy, with 23%, secured the second place in energy production."

Error: "Nuclear energy with 23% had 2nd place in production of energy" should be "Nuclear energy, with 23%, secured the second place in energy production." 

Explanation: 

The original sentence lacks proper punctuation and structure. By adding commas and restructuring the sentence, the meaning becomes clearer and easier to understand.

Improved version:

Nuclear energy secured the second position in energy production, with a notable contribution of 23%. 

Corrected version:

"The remaining sources of energy took the last place with 17.4%." 

Error: "Rest other sources of energy had last place" should be "The remaining sources of energy took the last place."

Explanation: 

The phrase "rest other sources of energy" is grammatically incorrect. "The remaining sources of energy" is a more appropriate phrase to describe the subject of the sentence.

Improved version:

The remaining sources of energy collectively held the last position, contributing 17.4%. 

Corrected version:

"However, renewable sources of energy consisted of four types: biomass at 39.3%, wind power at 36.9%, hydroelectric at 17.7%, and solar at 6.1%."

Error: "four types source" should be "four types of sources." 

Explanation: 

The phrase "four types source" lacks the necessary preposition "of" to indicate possession. It should be "four types of sources" to convey the intended meaning.

Improved version:

In contrast, renewable energy sources in Germany encompassed four distinct categories: biomass (39.3%), wind power (36.9%), hydroelectric power (17.7%), and solar power (6.1%). 

Corrected version:

"Here, biomass power was the largest shareholder of renewable energy."

Error: "Here was the biomas power" should be "Here, biomass power was."

Explanation:

 The sentence structure is incorrect. Adding a comma after "Here" and rephrasing the sentence clarifies the subject-verb agreement and improves readability.

Improved version:

Among these, biomass emerged as the largest contributor to the overall share of renewable energy.

Specifically focusing on biomass power, it represented the dominant stakeholder within the realm of renewable energy. 

Corrected version:

"On the other hand, France produced 510 billion kilowatts of electricity in 2009."

Error: "France produce" should be "France produced."

Explanation: 

The verb "produce" should be in the past tense to match the timeframe mentioned in the sentence.

Improved version:

Shifting our attention to France, the country generated a substantial amount of 510 billion kilowatts of electricity in 2009. 

Corrected version:

"It had three types of energy: nuclear at 76%, renewable at 13.7%, and conventional thermal at 10.3%." 

Error: "nuclear 76%" should be "nuclear at 76%," "renewable 13.7%" should be "renewable at 13.7%," and "conventional thermal 10.3%" should be "conventional thermal at 10.3%." 

Explanation: 

When mentioning percentages, it is common to use the preposition "at" to indicate the proportion or rate of something.

Improved version:

France's energy production can be categorized into three primary types: nuclear energy (76%), renewable energy (13.7%), and conventional thermal energy (10.3%). 

Corrected version:

"Renewable sources of energy had only three types, whereas Germany had four types of renewable sources of energy." 

Error: "Renewable source of energy have had" should be "Renewable sources of energy had," and "as compare Germany" should be "whereas Germany." 

Explanation: 

The subject-verb agreement is incorrect in the original sentence. "Renewable sources of energy" is plural and should take the verb "had." Additionally, "as compare Germany" should be replaced with "whereas Germany" to provide a clearer comparison between the two countries.

Improved version:

In comparison to Germany's four types of renewable energy, France had a narrower range, consisting of three sources. 

Corrected version:

"Hydroelectric was the highest at 80.5% in 2009, followed by wind energy at 10.5%, and the lowest producer of this type of power was solar at 8.1%."

Error: "Hydroelectric was on top into 2009" should be "Hydroelectric was the highest at 80.5% in 2009," and "the lowest producer of this types of power was wind" should be "the lowest producer of this type of power was solar."

Explanation: 

The phrase "on top into 2009" is unclear and should be replaced with "the highest at 80.5% in 2009" to convey the intended meaning. Additionally, the sentence mistakenly states that wind was the lowest producer, while the data shows that solar had the lowest percentage.

Improved version:

Hydroelectric power emerged as the leading energy source in 2009, accounting for 80.5% of France's total energy production. Wind energy followed with a contribution of 10.5%, while solar power represented the lowest producer within this category, contributing only 8.1% of the total energy generated.