Task-2

Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes

Common Errors

Source: Ms Falguni Nanda 05-09-23 MT 04

Original Text

"Undoubtedly, illegal hunting is a criminal activity spreading worldwide which is only continuing because of maximising profits through the use of animal for satisfaction."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Undoubtedly, illegal hunting is a criminal activity spreading worldwide, which continues only because of maximising profits through the use of animals for satisfaction."

Explanation:

Added a comma after "worldwide" for better sentence structure. Changed "animal" to "animals" for correct subject-verb agreement.

Improved

Improved version:

"Undoubtedly, illegal hunting is a globally pervasive criminal activity that persists solely to maximize profits by exploiting animals for personal satisfaction."

Original Text

"There is little room for doubt that, animals are providing us a basic needs of our life and they are venerated in some religions but money greed distroys everything."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"There is little room for doubt that animals provide us with basic needs of our life and are venerated in some religions, but greed for money destroys everything."

Explanation:

Removed the comma after "that" for smoother sentence flow. Corrected verb tense agreement (provide instead of are providing). Fixed spelling errors ("money greed" to "greed for money").

Improved

Improved version:

. "There is little room for doubt that animals fulfill our fundamental needs and are revered in various religions. However, the relentless pursuit of wealth can obliterate these values."

Original Text

"They kill animals for their own uses and for making reputation in some fields."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"They kill animals for their own use and to make a reputation in some fields."

Explanation:

Changed "uses" to "use" for proper noun-verb agreement. Added "to" before "make" for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"They slaughter animals both for personal gain and to establish themselves in certain industries."

Original Text

"In today's life, in India, money kills humanity."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"In today's world, in India, money erodes humanity."

Explanation:

Explanation: Improved sentence structure and word choice for better clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"In today's world, especially in India, the relentless pursuit of wealth often erodes our sense of humanity."

Original Text

"For instance, horses are used to carry loads, they don't even know how much they are hurting, they are completely in pain."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"For instance, horses are used to carry loads; they don't even know how much they are hurting, as they are in considerable pain."

Explanation:

Added a semicolon for clearer separation between the clauses. Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"For example, horses bear heavy loads without comprehending the extent of their suffering, enduring constant pain."

Original Text

"According to news, animals are used to carry weight of humanbeings, they carry them to the top of the mountains and because of this, thousands of animals died between journey."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"According to the news, animals are used to carry the weight of human beings. They carry them to the top of mountains, and because of this, thousands of animals die during the journey."

Explanation:

Added "the" before "news" for proper article usage. Corrected verb tenses for consistency. Added "the" before "top of mountains" for clarity. Changed "died between journey" to "die during the journey" for correct phrasing.

Improved

Improved version:

"According to reports, animals are employed to transport humans to mountain summits, resulting in the death of thousands during these journeys."

Original Text

"Secondly, being a fashionistic, people love to wear fur clothes, tiger-print clothes and all these are made from animal skins, they kill animals only to provide these clothes."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Secondly, in the realm of fashion, people love to wear fur clothes and tiger-print clothes, all of which are made from animal skins. They kill animals only to produce these clothes."

Explanation:

Corrected "fashionistic" to "in the realm of fashion" for clarity. Improved sentence structure for better flow. Added "and" for a smoother connection between items in the list.

Improved

Improved version:

"Secondly, within the realm of fashion, people take pleasure in wearing garments made from animal skins, such as fur and tiger prints, perpetuating the cycle of animal exploitation."

Original Text

"They not only kill animals but they keep them in pain for many days."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"They not only kill animals but also keep them in pain for many days."

Explanation:

Improved sentence structure for clarity and conciseness.

Improved

Improved version:

"Not only do they kill animals, but they also subject them to prolonged suffering."

Original Text

"Furthermore, globally, in some countries, people love to eat animals like cows, dogs, snakes, frogs etc."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Furthermore, globally, in some countries, people love to consume animals such as cows, dogs, snakes, frogs, etc."

Explanation:

Improved sentence structure and word choice for clarity. Used "such as" instead of "like" for proper usage.

Improved

Improved version:

"Furthermore, in various countries across the globe, people relish consuming animals like cows, dogs, snakes, and frogs."

Original Text

"Being a humanbeing, where is humanity goes."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"Being a human being, where does humanity go?"

Explanation:

Corrected "humanbeing" to "human being" for proper spacing. Reordered the words for correct question formation.

Improved

Improved version:

"As human beings, we must question the direction our humanity is taking."

Original Text

"First, they kill humanity and then start killing animals for their tastes."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"First, they kill off humanity, and then they begin to kill animals for their tastes."

Explanation:

Improved sentence structure and added "off" after "kill" for better phrasing.

Improved

Improved version:

"Initially, they undermine human values, subsequently resorting to the killing of animals to satisfy their preferences."

Original Text

"In some discoveries, it is find that, in burgers, they keep cow tounges and people enjoy eating it, which is completey hilarious."

Corrected

Corrected version:

"In some discoveries, it is found that in burgers, they use cow tongues, and people enjoy eating them, which is completely hilarious."

Explanation:

Corrected "find" to "found" for proper verb tense. Improved sentence structure and word choice for clarity.

Improved

Improved version:

"In certain discoveries, it has been revealed that burgers contain cow tongues, a fact that some find amusing."

Source: Ms Falguni Nanda 05-09-23 MT 04

Original Text!

Undoubtedly, illegal hunting is a criminal activity spreading worldwide which is only continuing because of maximising profits through the use of animal for satisfaction.

There is little room for doubt that, animals are providing us a basic needs of our life and they are venerated in some religions but money greed distroys everything. They kill animals for their own uses and for making reputation in some fields. In today's life, in India, money kills humanity. For instance, horses are used to carry loads, they don't even know how much they are hurting, they are completely in pain. According to news, animals are used to carry weight of humanbeings, they carry them to the top of the mountains and because of this, thousands of animals died between journey.

Secondly, being a fashionistic, people love to wear fur clothes, tiger-print clothes and all these are made from animal skins, they kill animals only to provide these clothes. They not only kill animals but they keep them in pain for many days.

Furthermore, globally, in some countries, people love to eat animals like cows, dogs, snakes, frogs etc. Being a humanbeing, where is humanity goes. First, they kill humanity and then start killing animals for their tastes. In some discoveries, it is find that, in burgers, they keep cow tounges and people enjoy eating it, which is completey hilarious.

However, animals are god gift, they are the best creatures of our natures. Some human and animal lovers, they can die for their animals, whereas some people are killing them for money, animals are that gift of natute which provides us life and basic necesseties to live, even without them we are nothing.

To conclude, be a humanbeing first, before becoming an animal lover. Love, care and respect them as we are doing with ourselves.

Corrected!

Undoubtedly, illegal hunting is a criminal activity spreading worldwide, which continues solely to maximize profits through the use of animals for personal satisfaction.

There is little room for doubt that animals provide us with the basic needs of life and are venerated in some religions. However, greed for money destroys everything. Animals are killed for various purposes, including gaining reputation in certain fields. In today's society, in India, money kills humanity. For instance, horses are used to carry heavy loads, unaware of the pain they endure. According to news reports, animals are forced to carry the weight of human beings, even to the top of mountains, resulting in the deaths of thousands of animals during these journeys.

Secondly, due to a love for fashion, people enjoy wearing fur and tiger-print clothes, which are made from animal skins. Animals are not only killed for these garments, but they are also subjected to prolonged suffering.

Furthermore, globally, in some countries, people consume animals such as cows, dogs, snakes, and frogs. It is disheartening to see humanity disregarded in such a manner. First, they disregard humanity and then proceed to kill animals for their own tastes. In some discoveries, it has been found that cow tongues are included in burgers, which is completely absurd.

However, animals are a gift from God and the best creatures of nature. Some humans and animal lovers are willing to die for their animals, while others are killing them for money. Animals are the gift of nature that provides us with life and basic necessities. Without them, we are nothing.

In conclusion, let us prioritize being human beings before becoming animal lovers. Let us love, care for, and respect animals just as we do ourselves.

IMPROVED VERSION

In today's globalised world, illegal hunting remains a widespread criminal activity, driven solely by the pursuit of profit at the expense of animals. This essay will delve into the multifaceted repercussions of this issue, highlighting the adverse consequences it has on both the animal kingdom and human society.

Firstly, it is irrefutable that animals play a pivotal role in fulfilling our basic needs and hold profound significance in various religious and cultural contexts. Nevertheless, the relentless quest for financial gain often blinds individuals to the moral imperative of safeguarding these creatures. This unfettered greed not only threatens the welfare of animals but also erodes our shared sense of humanity.

Moreover, the exploitation of animals takes various forms, from their use as beasts of burden to satisfy human needs, to their cruel treatment in the fashion industry for products like fur garments. Horses, for instance, are compelled to carry heavy loads, often oblivious to the extent of their suffering. Such practices inflict enduring pain on these animals, raising ethical concerns about our treatment of them.

Furthermore, globally, there exists a disturbing trend of consuming animals such as cows, dogs, snakes, and frogs in the name of culinary diversity. This juxtaposition of culinary choices against ethical considerations casts a shadow on our values as a society. The pursuit of exotic tastes has led to shocking discoveries, such as the use of cow tongues in burgers, a revelation that some may find amusing but which raises serious ethical questions.

In conclusion, while animals are indeed a gift of nature, their exploitation for monetary gain threatens the very fabric of our society. To achieve a harmonious coexistence, we must reevaluate our priorities and strike a balance between our needs and the welfare of these creatures. Ultimately, it is our shared responsibility as human beings to demonstrate compassion and respect towards all forms of life, for it is this virtue that truly defines our humanity.

This essay outlines the profound impact of illegal hunting and animal exploitation on our society, emphasizing the need for a collective shift towards ethical and humane treatment of animals.