30
Task-2
Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes
Common Errors
1
Source: Ms Falguni Nanda MT 02
Original Text
"There is little room for doubt that, in some cultures, children are often told that if they try hard they can achieve anything they want in their life."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"There is little room for doubt that, in some cultures, children are often told that if they try hard, they can achieve anything they want in their lives."
Explanation:
The original sentence had a subject-verb agreement error. "Life" should be changed to "lives" to match the plural subject "children."
Improved
Improved version:
"In various cultural contexts, children are systematically instilled with the belief that relentless effort can grant them access to virtually any aspiration they harbour in their lives."
2
Original Text
"Hardworking is the key to success for young people, it is true, they can achieve success at the highest level."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"Hard work is the key to success for young people; it is true that they can achieve success at the highest level."
Explanation:
In the original sentence, there was a comma splice issue, and the structure was a bit awkward. I added a semicolon to separate the related but independent clauses and rephrased the second part for clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
"Indubitably, diligence stands as the linchpin of achievement for the younger generation, bestowing upon them the power to ascend to the zenith of success."
3
Original Text
"Secondly, If young people really try hard to achieve something and this build confidence in them, that they can struggle hard with any difficulty or problem they will face in the future. They don't have any fear of loss."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"Secondly, if young people really try hard to achieve something and this builds confidence in them, they can handle any difficulty or problem they will face in the future. They don't have any fear of failure."
Explanation:
The original sentence had several issues. The conjunction "If" should not be capitalized. "Build" should be changed to "builds" to maintain subject-verb agreement. "Struggle hard" was changed to "handle" for better clarity. "Loss" was changed to "failure" for a more appropriate word choice.
Improved
Improved version:
"Furthermore, when young individuals diligently pursue their objectives, cultivating unwavering self-confidence, they not only surmount present challenges but also fortify themselves to confront future adversities, immune to the spectre of failure."
4
Original Text
"For instance, a boy and a girl at their young age after completing their studies, they start working at very low wages. After gaining some experiences, they start working more for extra hours with very hard work and then they start gaining extra and make their own reputation. After that, they do not have any fear of failure."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"For instance, a boy and a girl at a young age, after completing their studies, start working at very low wages. After gaining some experience, they begin working longer hours with great effort and start building their own reputations. After that, they no longer fear failure."
Explanation:
The original sentence had numerous issues with grammar and sentence structure. I added "a" before "young age" for correctness. I corrected the verb tense and structure to make the sentence more coherent and concise. Also, "extra" was changed to "longer hours" for clarity, and "make their own reputation" was changed to "building their own reputations" for smoother flow.
Improved
Improved version:
"Take, for instance, the narrative of a young man and woman who, post-graduation, commence their careers at meagre wages. Through accrued experience, their relentless toil expands, forging a distinguished reputation and extinguishing all apprehensions of failure."
5
Original Text
"On the other hand, working hard also appear harmful to the young age. Sometimes, They take suggestions in a wrong manner and they can do whatever they want in their life. To achieve success in life they walk on wrong path, which always causes a downfall."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"On the other hand, working hard can also be harmful at a young age. Sometimes, they interpret suggestions incorrectly and make decisions that may lead them astray in life, ultimately causing their downfall."
Explanation:
The original sentence had multiple grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. I corrected the verb form from "appear" to "can be" for clarity. "Appear harmful to the young age" was changed to "can also be harmful at a young age" for better expression. "They take suggestions in a wrong manner" was rephrased for smoother flow and clarity. Lastly, I combined the last two sentences for better coherence.
Improved
Improved version:
"Conversely, an excessive allegiance to the tenets of diligence can wield deleterious consequences in one's youth. On occasion, misinterpretation of counsel may steer them onto ill-fated paths, ultimately precipitating their decline."
6
Original Text
"Furthermore, achieving success in life is good, but doing this in a stubborn way is not good. They cause harm to their health. At that time, they do not care of themselves, which always causes a failure."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"Furthermore, achieving success in life is good, but pursuing it stubbornly is not advisable as it can harm one's health. During such times, they neglect self-care, which often leads to failure."
Explanation:
In the original sentence, there were several issues with clarity and sentence structure. I rephrased the sentences to improve clarity and combined them for smoother flow. Additionally, I changed "doing this" to "pursuing it" for better clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
"Moreover, while the pursuit of success in life is unquestionably commendable, an obstinate chase for it can take a toll on an individual's well-being. In such phases, self-care often takes a back seat, exacerbating the perils of failure."
7
Original Text
"To conclude, hard work can be advantageous and disadvantageous. To some extent, pros of hard work seems to overweigh the cons and if we take this suggestion in a better manner, then we can achieve success instead of failure."
Corrected
Corrected version:
"In conclusion, hard work can have both advantages and disadvantages. To some extent, the benefits of hard work appear to outweigh the drawbacks, and if we heed this advice more wisely, we can attain success rather than failure."
Explanation:
The original sentence had some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. I made the language more formal and clear. "Overweigh" was changed to "outweigh" for correctness, and "in a better manner" was changed to "more wisely" for clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
"In summation, the practice of ardent dedication can yield a tapestry of both merits and demerits. While the merits of industriousness may, to a certain degree, eclipse the demerits, it is paramount to assimilate this wisdom sagaciously, as it can serve as the conduit to triumph rather than adversity."
Source: Ms Falguni Nanda 03-09-23 MT 02
Original Text!
There is little room for doubt that, in some cultures, children are often told that if they try hard they can achieve anything they want in their life. Promoting hard work is good but it includes some downs as well.
Hardworking is the key to success for young people, it is true, they can achieve success at the highest level. Secondly, If young people really try hard to achieve something and this build confidence in them, that they can struggle hard with any difficulty or problem they will face in the future. They don't have any fear of loss. For instance, a boy and a girl at their young age after completing their studies, they start working at very low wages. After gaining some experiences, they start working more for extra hours with very hard work and then they start gaining extra and make their own reputation. After that, they do not have any fear of failure.
On the other hand, working hard also appear harmful to the young age. Sometimes, They take suggestions in a wrong manner and they can do whatever they want in their life. To achieve success in life they walk on wrong path, which always causes a downfall.
Furthermore, achieving success in life is good, but doing this in a stubborn way is not good. They cause harm to their health. At that time, they do not care of themselves, which always causes a failure.
To conclude, hard work can be advantageous and disadvantageous. To some extent, pros of hard work seems to overweigh the cons and if we take this suggestion in a better manner, then we can achieve success instead of failure.
Corrected!
There is little room for doubt that in some cultures, children are often told that if they try hard, they can achieve anything they want in life. Promoting hard work is good, but it also includes some downsides.
Hard work is the key to success for young people, and it is true that they can achieve success at the highest level if they try hard. Secondly, if young people really try hard to achieve something, it builds confidence in them that they can overcome any difficulty or problem they will face in the future. They don't have any fear of failure. For instance, a boy and a girl at a young age, after completing their studies, start working at very low wages. After gaining some experience, they start working extra hours with great effort and then they start earning more and make their own reputation. After that, they do not have any fear of failure.
On the other hand, working hard can also be harmful to young people. Sometimes, they misinterpret suggestions and can go down the wrong path in order to achieve success in life, which always leads to a downfall.
Furthermore, achieving success in life is good, but doing it in a stubborn way is not. They can harm their health. At that time, they do not take care of themselves, which always leads to failure.
In conclusion, hard work can have advantages and disadvantages. To some extent, the pros of hard work seem to outweigh the cons, and if we take this suggestion in a better manner, then we can achieve success instead of failure.
IMPROVED VERSION
In various cultural settings, children are consistently imbued with the belief that unswerving dedication can be the catalyst for the fulfilment of their most profound aspirations. This notion, while undeniably fostering the value of hard work, is not without its nuances.
First and foremost, it is indisputable that diligence is a pivotal component in the formula for success, particularly for the younger generation. This inexorable drive propels them to the pinnacle of achievement, enabling them to ascend to the zenith of their aspirations. Their unyielding efforts are, more often than not, rewarded with the satisfaction of realising their loftiest goals. For instance, consider the journey of countless young individuals who embark on their careers with modest remuneration. As they accumulate experience and tirelessly invest themselves in their vocations, their dedication transforms into an impetus for growth. They eventually ascend to the upper echelons of their chosen fields, banishing any lingering fear of failure.
Conversely, an unwavering commitment to hard work may have unintended consequences, particularly during youth. At times, young individuals may misconstrue well-intentioned advice and make decisions that lead them astray. In the pursuit of success, they may inadvertently tread down a perilous path, one that ultimately precipitates their decline. This unrelenting zeal can, on occasion, blind them to the importance of a balanced life, potentially compromising their overall well-being. Neglecting self-care in the relentless pursuit of success can, paradoxically, heighten the risk of failure in the long run.
In conclusion, the role of diligent effort in the quest for success is unquestionable. However, it is crucial for individuals, especially the youth, to exercise discretion and discernment in their pursuit of success. While hard work undoubtedly offers numerous merits, its relentless pursuit must be tempered with wisdom and a consideration for one's well-being. Achieving success is a noble endeavour, but it should be pursued with a judicious balance of diligence and self-care, ensuring that the path to triumph is not marred by the shadows of unintended consequences.