23
Task-1
Let's Learn from Others' Mistakes
Common Errors
1
Source: Ms Manya Bhawra 04-09-23 MT 09
Original Text
The provided pie chart and tabular chart demonstrates the major cause why agriculture land becomes less productive and affected their regions of the world during the period of 1990s.
Corrected
Corrected version:
The provided pie chart and tabular chart demonstrate the major causes of why agricultural land became less productive and affected regions around the world during the 1990s.
Explanation:
"demonstrates" should be changed to "demonstrate" to match the subject "pie chart and tabular chart."
"agriculture land" should be corrected to "agricultural land."
"affected their regions" should be changed to "affected regions" for clarity.
"of the world" has been added for clarity.
"the period of 1990s" has been changed to "during the 1990s" for better phrasing.
Improved
Improved version:
The provided graphical representations, including a pie chart and tabular data, offer valuable insights into the prominent factors leading to decreased agricultural productivity and their global impact during the 1990s.
2
Original Text
In an overview, at first glance it can be clearly inferred that high the highest percentage of overgrazing cost in Oceania.
Corrected
Corrected version:
In an overview, at first glance, it can be clearly inferred that the highest percentage of overgrazing occurs in Oceania.
Explanation:
"it can be clearly inferred that high" should be corrected to "it can be clearly inferred that the highest."
"cost" should be changed to "occurs" to better convey the idea.
"in" has been added for proper phrasing.
Improved
Improved version:
Upon initial scrutiny, it becomes distinctly apparent that the region of Oceania faced the most substantial land degradation, primarily as a result of overgrazing.
3
Original Text
Regarding information for causes of worldwide land degradation, in 1990s, the highest shares by the overgrazing and 30% of deforestation.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Regarding information about the causes of worldwide land degradation in the 1990s, the highest share was due to overgrazing, accounting for 30% of the total.
Explanation:
"Regarding information for causes" has been changed to "Regarding information about the causes" for clarity.
"shares by the overgrazing" has been corrected to "share was due to overgrazing" to convey the information more clearly.
"and 30% of deforestation" has been rephrased to "accounting for 30% of the total" for better structure and clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
Concerning the underlying causes of worldwide land degradation in the 1990s, overgrazing emerged as the predominant factor, accounting for a significant 30% of the total degradation.
4
Original Text
Moving further, more than a quarter was by over cultivating. Only 7% of land gradation by other activities.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Moving further, more than a quarter was attributed to over-cultivating, while only 7% of land degradation was caused by other activities.
Explanation:
"was by over cultivating" has been changed to "was attributed to over-cultivating" for clarity.
"land gradation" has been corrected to "land degradation" to use the appropriate term.
"by other activities" has been added for clarity and proper structure.
Improved
Improved version:
Delving deeper into the data, it is revealed that over-cultivation contributed to slightly more than a quarter of land degradation, while other activities accounted for only 7% of the overall degradation.
5
Original Text
Turning to the data for causes of land degradation by region. Firstly, in north America only 0.2% of land degraded by deforestation and 1.5 by over- grazing which total land degraded was 5% only.
Corrected
Corrected version:
Turning to the data for causes of land degradation by region, firstly, in North America, only 0.2% of the land degraded due to deforestation, and 1.5% resulted from overgrazing, making the total land degradation 5%.
Explanation:
"Turning to the data for causes" has been corrected to "Turning to the data for the causes" for proper phrasing.
"north America" has been changed to "North America" to capitalize the region name.
"only 0.2% of land degraded by deforestation" has been rephrased to "only 0.2% of the land degraded due to deforestation" for clarity.
"and 1.5 by over-grazing" has been changed to "and 1.5% resulted from overgrazing" for clarity and consistency.
"which total land degraded was 5% only" has been restructured for better clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
Turning our attention to the regional breakdown of land degradation causes, North America experienced minimal land degradation, with only 0.2% attributed to deforestation and 1.5% to overgrazing, resulting in an overall land degradation rate of 5%.
6
Original Text
In Europe, had the highest percentage of land which was 23% and Oceania had 30% proportion of total land degradation.
Corrected
Corrected version:
In Europe, there was the highest percentage of land degradation at 23%, while Oceania had a 30% proportion of total land degradation.
Explanation:
"In Europe, had the highest percentage of land" has been changed to "In Europe, there was the highest percentage of land degradation at 23%" for better structure and clarity.
"Oceania had 30% proportion of total land degradation" has been rephrased for better clarity.
Improved
Improved version:
In contrast, Europe witnessed the highest proportion of land degradation at 23%, while Oceania represented a staggering 30% of the total land degradation.
Source: Ms Manya Bhawra 04-09-23 MT 09
Original Text!
The provided pie chart and tabular chart demonstrates the major cause why agriculture land becomes less productive and affected their regions of the world during the period of 1990s.
In an overview, at first glance it can be clearly inferred that high the highest percentage of overgrazing cost in Oceania.
Regarding information for causes of worldwide land degradation, in 1990s, the highest shares by the overgrazing and 30% of deforestation. Moving further, more than a quarter was by over cultivating. Only 7% of land gradation by other activities.
Turning to the data for causes of land degradation by region. Firstly, in north America only 0.2% of land degraded by deforestation and 1.5 by over- grazing which total land degraded was 5% only. In Europe, had the highest percentage of land which was 23% and Oceania had 30% proportion of total land degradation.
Corrected!
The provided pie chart and tabular chart demonstrate the major causes of why agricultural land becomes less productive and affects regions around the world during the 1990s.
At first glance, it can be clearly inferred that the highest percentage of land degradation is due to overgrazing in Oceania.
Regarding the information on the causes of worldwide land degradation in the 1990s, the highest share is attributed to overgrazing, accounting for 70% of the total. Deforestation accounts for 30%, while overcultivating contributes to over a quarter of the land degradation. Other activities account for only 7% of land degradation.
Looking at the data for causes of land degradation by region, it can be observed that in North America, only 0.2% of land is degraded due to deforestation, and 1.5% due to overgrazing, resulting in a total of 5% land degradation. In Europe, the highest percentage of land degradation is observed, accounting for 23% of the total. Oceania has the highest proportion of total land degradation, with 30% of the land affected.
IMPROVED VERSION
The provided graphical representations, including a pie chart and tabular data, offer valuable insights into the prominent factors leading to decreased agricultural productivity and their global impact during the 1990s.
Upon initial scrutiny, it becomes distinctly apparent that the region of Oceania faced the most substantial land degradation, primarily as a result of overgrazing. Concerning the underlying causes of worldwide land degradation in the 1990s, overgrazing emerged as the predominant factor, accounting for a significant 30% of the total degradation.
Delving deeper into the data, it is revealed that over-cultivation contributed to slightly more than a quarter of land degradation, while other activities accounted for only 7% of the overall degradation. Turning our attention to the regional breakdown of land degradation causes, North America experienced minimal land degradation, with only 0.2% attributed to deforestation and 1.5% to overgrazing, resulting in an overall land degradation rate of 5%. In contrast, Europe witnessed the highest proportion of land degradation at 23%, while Oceania represented a staggering 30% of the total land degradation.
Key Phrases and Vocabulary
"valuable insights into"
"prominent factors leading to"
"decreased agricultural productivity"
"global impact"
"during the 1990s"
"distinctly apparent"
"region of Oceania"
"significant 30% of the total degradation"
"predominant factor"
"contributed to slightly more than a quarter"
"other activities accounted for only 7%"
"regional breakdown of land degradation causes"
"minimal land degradation"
"an overall land degradation rate of 5%"
"highest proportion of land degradation"